Vanessa Morse/Development
A look into what changes Vanessa has been through in her mental state over the course of her time. Pre-Letter America Within America, Vanessa was a caring and adventurous young girl. She was always glad to explore and was near fearless. Her family regularly took trips, and she couldn't have been happier. Vanessa had never been popular, but she had a few other kids her own age she cared greatly about, and could turn to if her parents and uncles began fighting. As the fighting increased she became more and more attached to her cousins, growing distant from most of the other kids before moving to London. London Once they had moved, Vanessa was largely silent. Most traces of the happy girl had vanished, though she continued to work hard. She took up volleyball after the move, and as time went on she simply lost motivation to work hard in most things she found uninteresting. She never really got close to any of the other kids, and could only visit one of her cousins or her best friend in the Summers. Vanessa simply nodded and smiled, like a good kid should. Every day became rather monotone, daydreaming of a world where she could make a difference. Post-Letter Summer Vanessa's perception of reality was flipped on its' head when she found out about the magical world. Her childlike, exploring, happy self came back, although it didn't last long. After Vanessa made her few friends, the incident in Knockturn Alley would largely turn her away from magic being good. From that point on, she felt the need to take care of her friends, avoid conflicts she couldn't win without violence, and to be strong. If she could do all that, she could make Professor Star proud, and protect herself or her friends if something happened again in the future. First Year Vanessa's curiosity didn't fade, and in her first year she investigated all sorts of magic. Over time, she deemed charms to be much more useful than the other subjects, and as such focused heavily on the field. With her new combat skill, she figured she could take on the world, but was horrified to find herself wrong. Vanessa eventually felt alone, isolated by dueling, and tried to change, only to find others looking at her the same. When her wand broke, she took it as the final straw, pushing herself far from dueling as possible. Though the change didn't stop her from learning to defend herself, Vanessa tried to find other means to end conflict. Second Year Vanessa's second year, she wanted to protect a first year from doing the same things she did. Vanessa spent her time trying to focus on her mentee L(redacted), only to find him later expelled for similar acts of stupidity to what she'd done. Blaming herself, Vanessa reluctantly took in Ara Abrasia. Vanessa viewed Ara as a correction to what happened with Lucio, and cared deeply for the younger girl. After meeting Dai, Vanessa decided she didn't want to be a prefect, seeing them as pretentious high shooters, something she didn't want to have to be. Vanessa regularly stuck her neck on the line for those she had deemed her responsibility to care for throughout the year. Third Year Vanessa's third year, she was finally able to obtain dark magic. Although she witnessed the effects first hand, she regularly denied having watching a man die. With this denial of the truth, she continued her days, learning the spell and withdrawing from others. Her need for revenge, and power over those who had insulted her and who she blamed for her actions first year overriding her logic. Vanessa did eventually open up to Ariana about her practice of dark magic, trusting the girl more than just about anyone else in Hogwarts. When Vanessa finally used the spell on a person herself, she was horrified by the after effect, and for the first time was forced to confront the horrors of what she'd done. She became obsessed with keeping her mentees away from dueling. Fourth Year Fourth year, Vanessa met her mentee, Evander. She did her best to keep him from dueling, pushing him from her life and furthering her guilt. Driven by guilt, Vanessa invented the Obsideo counter-curse to try to fix her own conscience. While this worked to a degree, she couldn't shake the guilt of what she'd done, and regularly turned to the pages of Jane's diary, feeling Jane truly understood her. Without Ari to turn to, Vanessa found herself slowly growing more and more close to Jane. Fifth Year Vanessa's fifth year, her unhealthy obsession with talking to Jane led her to research on souls, and therefore dementors. Emboldened by the thought that she could resurrect the dead from Professor Fitzgerald, Vanessa decided she would learn Cedamus Inimicum, trying to have a dementor reveal the secret to saving one's soul. She spent her year growing cold and withdrawn, not focusing on anyone or anything in particularly, and constantly anxious. She used her mastery over Mermish to help her hide her crimes, and when the time came she hunted down a dementor. Despite this, Vanessa realized in her fifth year she had feelings for her long term friend, Ariana. Vanessa and Ariana beginning to date gave Vanessa a needed anchor to reality, and kept her focused on those around her as opposed to just herself. The two's relationship would help act as a balancing factor to the outlandish thoughts and ideas in Vanessa's head Sixth Year Vanessa having met the dementor became all but unresponsive. She barely functioned mentally for the next several weeks of recovery, and eventually decided she needed to rethink her approach. Vanessa hasn't given up on her goal of necromancy, but she sees no alternative routes, feeling defeated. She has spent her time trying to enjoy her day to day life and forget the past. Vanessa took up an apprenticeship in order to persue her own interests in the field of enchanting, and regularly questioning if a life of drama and world-alterring was worth having to confront things like the dementor. Seventh Year Throughout the course of her seventh year, Vanessa began to realize how self-destructive her behavior was, only truly beginning to see her importance to the world around her. She did her best to mellow out, while still continuing her research for a day when it would be less suicidal to carry out. She held conversations as needed, and swore to herself if she died in the process of hunting the stone, she would hurt as few people as possible doing it. Post-Graduation A Year A year after Hogwarts, Vanessa quickly learned she could get away with almost anything living in Knockturn Alley, as long as she kept minding her own business. She began to take small risks, being willing to do things like rob a book store, or wear muggle clothing, though whether due to her fame or her social theory, tends to be allowed to get away with these behaviors.